# 28 - LENT 2014 ...
This year I follow the
«Praying Lent» from the Online
Ministry of Creighton University - Lent
- 2014: March 5- April 16.
I
also read what the students of the University says for the day. That
make me feel staying with the young:
Before
I do anything else in the morning I read the students section from
Creighton and then I follow up with reading and praying at the
«Praying Lent» section. It helps me to focus my life about what is
most important of all: God first!
After
I promised to come back and write more to you on the 3th of November
2013 I tried to give you readers a summary of all the questions I
thought it was important that you reflect upon if you are fallen away
from the Church or are doubting. I had been away from the blog almost
a year at that time (except from a short note of the 13th
of
Marc the same year about the case that we had been given a new pope).
The last I wrote before the note about pope Frances was about my trip
to Fatima in October 2012.
Can
we see a connection here? May be or may be not. One shall be cautious
about seeing connections here and there. What we think are connections might be accidentally. Still we have to remember that we
live in a world were there are both seen and unseen.
Let
me try to explain: Like I have told before, some time after I
converted to the catholic faith I had strong inner feelings that God
wanted me to write to help people back to Church. As I also told, I
begged God to give me something else to do. But it was impossible to
get rid of these thoughts. They didn't stop until I agreed to do it.
For
years I also had another thought that almost never left me: «Go to
Fatima». Years came and went, but I didn't go to Fatima. I was on
pilgrimages, but not to Fatima.
Right
before Corpus Christi 2012 I decided to follow this «inner voice»
about Fatima. Right after Corpus Christi or may be at the same day I
decided to start writing in the hope of winning souls for Christ and
his Church.
Now
something else happened, I felt like I fought with the devil, as if
he wanted to stop me both going to Fatima in Portugal and stop my
writing. How do we fight with the devil? No, he didn't present
himself in person. He didn't talk to me or anything else, but I had a
lot of contrary thoughts. I almost felt like giving up the whole
«thing»; both of them.
I
don't believe that Satan place thoughts in our heads, but since he is
an angel (fallen), he is created much smarter then us and can use
every weakness we might have to lead us away from God. Persons
that want to help others to find Christ must be stopped, because
Satan doesn't want such a «thing» to happen.
Satan
doesn't feel happy about people who are very serious about Our Mother
either. Remember that I was planning to go to Fatima where
she appeared to the three shepherds: Lucia, Francisco and
Jacinta.
Satan
works in mysterious ways and use our weaknesses. I felt it difficult
to write and almost missed my flight to London from where I was going
by plane to Portugal early next morning. I even amost also lost my bus to
the airport in London because someone gave me the wrong direction
about the bus-stop.
As
you, who have read the whole blog know, I wrote about the trip to
Fatima in November 2012. I was very busy for a time and after a
trip to Oslo in the beginning of December the same year I caught
a serious cold and after that didn't really recover until the
summer 2013 or thereabout. I started to continue my blog in
November 2013 but caught a new cold. It lasted for four weeks and I
still struggle with the after effects. I'm extremely tired and
exhausted.
So,
and were do I see the devil in all this? Well, I don't see him. He
usually likes to be hidden. The point is that he works in mysterious
ways, use our weaknessess and don't want to be recognized.
Can
you see any weakness here other than naturally tiredness after being
ill? Atheists would see nothing more than that because they have
decided for themselves that God doesn't exist. Trent Horn has written
a good book about some of the arguments the atheists use
and shows us why these arguments are too tiny to rule God out. I
highly recommend: «Answering Atheism
– How to Make the Case for God with Logic and Charity»
by Trent Horn.
Back
to topic: Did you find any weaknesses? If you looked well I presume
that you saw my tiredness after being sick as an excuse for
not continue my writing. Did you? Well the truth about ourselves
isn't always so beautiful. I wouldn't call it an excuse, but I can
see how letting myself be filled with doubt for the future in this
world getting primacy before my obligations to God has hindered me to
see that I could write even if I didn't feel well.
This
can be
(it doesn't have to) an example of how Satan can work «behind the
scene» and use our weaknesses. The point isn't to decide if Satan
have been a part of the case or not. The point is to know that we
have to struggle with him daily and that he can be in our way even if
we don't think so (remeber Fr. Fanzagas book «The Deceiver» about
that). As said before, Satan has no power over us if we don't give it
to him. He is nothing to be afraid of. Our thoughts should not be too
much occupied with him. But sometimes it can be wise to ask ourselves
if small or bigger struggles might be a struggle where the evil
one wants to prevent us from doing something that pleases God.
May
be you ask yourself why God didn't hear my prayer in blog-post #
26? The prayer was this:
+Dear
God, you know that I write this blog
to
try to help those who need to think
about
some important questions
in
a simple way before they
move
on ...
Oh,
Lord my God,
Please
help both reader
and
writer to
be
able to do this
in
a way that is beneficial.
AMEN+
Of
course He heard it, but may be He found Lent a better time to
continue for both reader and writer? Well He is not going to
tell us exactly. So is life. God doesn't leave us a note at our
dinner table about what to do or not ...
Now,
when I have turned to God for Lent every morning with a wish to come
closer to Him, He has let me understand how important it is to
not give up upon evangelizing: «Please go back to your blog,
Benthe».
To
work hard to stay close to the Lord is always important, also for
those of us who believe that we are close enough! Even psychologists
may fool themselves. (Good to know for you who think you are of
little worth). Everybody fails. God knows that and are always willing
to help, but not always in the way and at the time we want Him to. So
here I am. I will come back and write more, but I need some time to
put myself into the where I was in my writing.
Continued
good Lent and God bless! Please pray for my persistence in this,
will you? ... and for the guidance of the Holy Spirit while writing.
See
you ...
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