# 28 - LENT 2014 ...
This year I follow the «Praying Lent» from the Online Ministry of Creighton University - Lent - 2014: March 5- April 16.
I also read what the students of the University says for the day. That make me feel staying with the young:
Before I do anything else in the morning I read the students section from Creighton and then I follow up with reading and praying at the «Praying Lent» section. It helps me to focus my life about what is most important of all: God first!
After I promised to come back and write more to you on the 3th of November 2013 I tried to give you readers a summary of all the questions I thought it was important that you reflect upon if you are fallen away from the Church or are doubting. I had been away from the blog almost a year at that time (except from a short note of the 13th of Marc the same year about the case that we had been given a new pope). The last I wrote before the note about pope Frances was about my trip to Fatima in October 2012.
Can we see a connection here? May be or may be not. One shall be cautious about seeing connections here and there. What we think are connections might be accidentally. Still we have to remember that we live in a world were there are both seen and unseen.
Let me try to explain: Like I have told before, some time after I converted to the catholic faith I had strong inner feelings that God wanted me to write to help people back to Church. As I also told, I begged God to give me something else to do. But it was impossible to get rid of these thoughts. They didn't stop until I agreed to do it.
For years I also had another thought that almost never left me: «Go to Fatima». Years came and went, but I didn't go to Fatima. I was on pilgrimages, but not to Fatima.
Right before Corpus Christi 2012 I decided to follow this «inner voice» about Fatima. Right after Corpus Christi or may be at the same day I decided to start writing in the hope of winning souls for Christ and his Church.
Now something else happened, I felt like I fought with the devil, as if he wanted to stop me both going to Fatima in Portugal and stop my writing. How do we fight with the devil? No, he didn't present himself in person. He didn't talk to me or anything else, but I had a lot of contrary thoughts. I almost felt like giving up the whole «thing»; both of them.
I don't believe that Satan place thoughts in our heads, but since he is an angel (fallen), he is created much smarter then us and can use every weakness we might have to lead us away from God. Persons that want to help others to find Christ must be stopped, because Satan doesn't want such a «thing» to happen.
Satan doesn't feel happy about people who are very serious about Our Mother either. Remember that I was planning to go to Fatima where she appeared to the three shepherds: Lucia, Francisco and Jacinta.
Satan works in mysterious ways and use our weaknesses. I felt it difficult to write and almost missed my flight to London from where I was going by plane to Portugal early next morning. I even amost also lost my bus to the airport in London because someone gave me the wrong direction about the bus-stop.
As you, who have read the whole blog know, I wrote about the trip to Fatima in November 2012. I was very busy for a time and after a trip to Oslo in the beginning of December the same year I caught a serious cold and after that didn't really recover until the summer 2013 or thereabout. I started to continue my blog in November 2013 but caught a new cold. It lasted for four weeks and I still struggle with the after effects. I'm extremely tired and exhausted.
So, and were do I see the devil in all this? Well, I don't see him. He usually likes to be hidden. The point is that he works in mysterious ways, use our weaknessess and don't want to be recognized.
Can you see any weakness here other than naturally tiredness after being ill? Atheists would see nothing more than that because they have decided for themselves that God doesn't exist. Trent Horn has written a good book about some of the arguments the atheists use and shows us why these arguments are too tiny to rule God out. I highly recommend: «Answering Atheism – How to Make the Case for God with Logic and Charity» by Trent Horn.
Back to topic: Did you find any weaknesses? If you looked well I presume that you saw my tiredness after being sick as an excuse for not continue my writing. Did you? Well the truth about ourselves isn't always so beautiful. I wouldn't call it an excuse, but I can see how letting myself be filled with doubt for the future in this world getting primacy before my obligations to God has hindered me to see that I could write even if I didn't feel well.
This can be (it doesn't have to) an example of how Satan can work «behind the scene» and use our weaknesses. The point isn't to decide if Satan have been a part of the case or not. The point is to know that we have to struggle with him daily and that he can be in our way even if we don't think so (remeber Fr. Fanzagas book «The Deceiver» about that). As said before, Satan has no power over us if we don't give it to him. He is nothing to be afraid of. Our thoughts should not be too much occupied with him. But sometimes it can be wise to ask ourselves if small or bigger struggles might be a struggle where the evil one wants to prevent us from doing something that pleases God.
May be you ask yourself why God didn't hear my prayer in blog-post # 26? The prayer was this:
+Dear God, you know that I write this blog
to try to help those who need to think
about some important questions
in a simple way before they
move on ...
Oh, Lord my God,
Please help both reader
and writer to
be able to do this
in a way that is beneficial.
Of course He heard it, but may be He found Lent a better time to continue for both reader and writer? Well He is not going to tell us exactly. So is life. God doesn't leave us a note at our dinner table about what to do or not ...
Now, when I have turned to God for Lent every morning with a wish to come closer to Him, He has let me understand how important it is to not give up upon evangelizing: «Please go back to your blog, Benthe».
To work hard to stay close to the Lord is always important, also for those of us who believe that we are close enough! Even psychologists may fool themselves. (Good to know for you who think you are of little worth). Everybody fails. God knows that and are always willing to help, but not always in the way and at the time we want Him to. So here I am. I will come back and write more, but I need some time to put myself into the where I was in my writing.
Continued good Lent and God bless! Please pray for my persistence in this, will you? ... and for the guidance of the Holy Spirit while writing.
See you ...